I thank you for the conditions you have spread out in front of me. There was a time when I was totally indifferent, insensitive and in hostile opposition towards these circumstances and situations you laid out in front of me. I genuinely hated them. I didn’t even like to think about them, and yet I thought of them persistently, which made me hate them even more.
Gradually I began developing a deep sense of repulsion towards you for bringing me here. I became very critical of all that you stood for. I developed ways to escape this reality because I found it unbearable. I knew what was right and how things should have been. And I knew what was wrong and why so many things were going the wrong way.
In time, all I saw in you was an alien being, unaware of itself, clueless about where it was headed, yet going in all directions with such fervour, leading nothing but to its own destruction.
Then I learned to ignore things, I isolated myself from anything that threatened the little world I was building for myself within the one you gave me.
I began running away from the conditions that you forced onto me. I began blaming you, criticizing you and judging you for the kind of world you had become. I began mocking you for being so foolish. I began to think very low of you, degrading your great capacities with all my frustrations and crassly reducing your existence into trivial nothings. I scorned at your purposelessness, I found your confusion to be amusing, I laughed at your directionless attitude.
You put me here. You gave me this life. You set these conditions around me. You gave me the kind of living that wasn’t good, a life that could have been better and circumstances that should have been favorable. You gave me something far less than what I deserved.
But then, after so many years of treating me this way, finally you began opening up to me. You showed me life as it was. You showed me what really was missing in this life. You showed me that what I deserved was only me, a me, that was missing from myself.
You opened doors for me that showed me how beautiful things really were, how good people really were, how happy and joyful life really was. You cleared up the dusty windows and brought in so much light that it shone through me and pushed me to go out, to drop the curtains and to begin to live life.
You showed me that what was wrong, unjust, unfair, despicable, wasn’t entirely so. You showed me that I was the problem in the world which I considered to be the problem. And you also handed into my hands the simple solution, which was again me.
You gave me opportunities to open up pages of the book within me which I never paid attention to. You answered so many of my questions by simply being there, standing still.
You held my hand, walked alongside me, and showed me what the world really was.
You washed my blurred lenses, and cleaned my tainted mind, and cranked my rusty heart, and nudged me further into moving and feeling this boundless life, seeing it for what it was and being there wholly.
You showed me how big a part of you I really was and how I had blindly rejected my role and neglected my duty. You made me understand that the problems were simply the roads I had to take, in order to get to meet a certain someone on the other end, that someone who knew once as a child, how exactly the world was, and who had decided to look after it when he grew up.
Along this path, you continued to be so patient, considerate and understanding of my slowness, my hesitance, my indifference, because you knew how important it was for me to meet that person.
You knew exactly what was waiting for me in this life, and who I needed by my side in order to face all that. You brought me to that person. The person who I always deserved, who I always had beside me, yet ignored.
You took me on this journey, that gave me the chance to meet me.
So I thank you again, for giving me these gifts, these fortunes and these opportunities, the things that I once considered, problems, misfortunes and fateful circumstances.
Thank you World, for giving me this wonderful space to learn, grow and discover far more. And, I promise you, I will undertake all that you bestow upon me with great dedication and with the honest appreciation of it’s true worth.
Thank You World.
A Tiny Part of You
P.S. This post is part of the January blogathon hosted by #kowthas and today’s prompt is “Write a letter, a Thank You Note” linked here.