From our previous post, we have learnt that good parenting plays a very important role in helping a child build his or her career. Let us look at some more step which can help in enhancing the parent-child relationship.
Peak performances—moment when children achieve the best that’s in them—are the stuff of every parent’s dream. And yet most of us have seen a report card or a dance performance that falls short of what our kids can accomplish. Why can some boys and girls repeatedly perform at their peak, while; others of equal or superior ability cannot? Many parents assume skill is very much determined by natural ability, the student with the highest IQ will get the best grades or the athlete with the most prowess; will surpass his team-mates.
Genes count in determining performance, but they’re not everything. The edge comes from mental attitude, character, and strategy.
7. Find something to praise – During a case study, a group of world-class athletes were asked to identify the primary influences on their early careers. Ninety-five percent gave the same answer: my parents’ support. A child who feels good about himself succeeds. Nurturing that self-esteem is the central element of inspiring a child to peak performance, and yours can’t start too early.
It isn’t easy to praise you son when his team has just lost an inter-school soccer match 1-0 and he missed two easy shots at the goal. But you can try something like this: “Those were easy goals you missed but you dribbled well. Next time aim at the far post and you’ll get the ball in.”
8. Teach, don’t Marne – Unfortunately, if you could tape parents’ comments on a child’s performance, you’d probably find a high percentage of negative remarks. Worse, the criticisms may be accompanied by put- downs —”You’re so dumb!” “Why can’t you get this through your head?” “God, you’re clumsy!” If you keep telling your son something’s wrong with him, sooner or later he’ll believe it. Criticize the behaviour, not the child. Follow every “That’s wrong!” by explaining what’s right. “Don’t use your instep for a powerful shot at the goal” should have the follow-up “bend your body forward, and kick with the top of your foot.”
Always leave your son knowing what you want him to do, not what you don’t want him to do. The last thing said to a person before a moment of trial is what he’ll remember. That thought should inspire positive action.
9. Assess your child’s strengths – Too often we try to” mould our kids into what we want them to like or be, rather than listening to their own opinions and self-assessments. Something like, “What do you like to do? What’s fun for you? What are you good at?” Instead of looking for a recitation of trophies won or achievements recorded, but simpler answers, things the kid takes pride in: “I can run fast.” “I’m good at science.” “I like to sing.”
10. Encourage self-applause – Suppose your daughter is about to accompany the school choir on her guitar. She’s scared, but you can help her build a feeling of success. Break the performance down into steps. The first step is to take the guitar out of the case. “Can you do that?” Yes (“Good work!”) Second step is to tune the guitar. “I can do that.” (“Good”). Third step is to make sure her music book is opened to the right page. By the time she strums the first chords, she’ll already have a record of successes, and the last obstacle may not seem insurmountable after all. Talking positively to yourself about yourself reinforces self-image, which in turn improves performance. Better performance causes more self-praise, which elevates self-image, which triggers further improvement. “I’m really playing well today” becomes “I’m a good guitar player,” which bolsters confidence to be a better guitar player.
In our forthcoming post, we will share some more creative ways of developing good and effective communication between parents and their children.